Dating Mishaps and Misadventures

It's exasperating to think that even though books, magazines, blogs and websites have dedicated voluminous articles to the do's and dont's of dating, I keep coming back from one disastrous social encounter with the male species after another. The thought that 'maybe it's not them, it's me' has crossed my mind more than once; but I know myself too well to know that I am merely unlucky when it comes to men and relationships. Or I just don't make very smart choices.

Quite recently, I've gone out with a Brit who claimed to be an "infallible gentleman of utmost decorum" (in posh British accent). Of course he acted like a complete bigot. To give you a better idea of how appalling his behavior was, here's a grocery list of the things he did:

- flagrantly and disgustingly picked his nose and teeth in front of me
- constantly performed conversational masturbation and never listened
- conveniently forgot that I'm a vegetarian
- constantly asked what kind of underwear I'm wearing
- shamelessly ogled and checked out other girls in front of me
- asked me to carry a bag of groceries while he ate his ice-cream
- groped my ass and copped a feel in public
- insulted my country and my race
- would intermittently call me, appearing and disappearing like a flickering Christmas bulb

Now if you've read the rather plain but sonorous girly book "He's Just Not Into You", the man I've described above would have been shown the door in an instant. And that's exactly what I did. I have no time and patience to put up with his shit.

I have always exercised careful judgment in weeding out the losers from my dating menu, but somehow I always wind up with men who are either flaky, immature, or just want to get into my pants. I guess I have every right to feel jaded and fagged out about dating. Cynicism has been vindicated.