Cabbie Gone Pimp

Two male Caucasians and three Pinays got off the cab I flagged down this morning. The driver told me, "Ang kukulit nung mga babae. Titirahin siguro sila nung dalawang foreigner." (The girls were so naughty. I bet the foreigners will screw them).

Five points for bluntness.

Me: Where did you pick them up?
Cabbie: Burgos.
Me: Ah.
Cabbie: Ma'am, I hope you won't think I'm a pervert, but I bet those foreigners are "big".
Me: Big?
Cabbie: You know. Big d***. Do you think they'll do the three girls? The one in black looks like he's good in bed. I saw his package, ma'am, it's big.
Me: But why were you checking out his package? Shouldn't you be checking out the girls?
Cabbie: I can't help it. He's wearing stretched pants.
Me (wanting to change the subject): Are you married?
Cabbie: Yes. Two wives. First one cheated on me so I dumped her. Maybe I wasn't big enough.
Changing the subject: fail!
Me: Well, it's not always about the size you know.
Cabbie: You know, I have a Japanese customer coming. He's very rich. I can introduce him to you. He's 58 years old.
This dude must be confused. The hookers got off at the Fort 15 minutes ago...
Cabbie turned pimp. Great.
Me: No way. 58??! He's older than my dad. That's gross.
Cabbie: But he has a lot of money.
Me: I don't care.
Cabbie: How tall are you?
Me: 5'7"-5'8".
Cabbie: You could be a model. Or a celebrity. I thought you were a celebrity. Para kang Maricar Reyes
Me: Who's Maricar Reyes?
Cabbie: You don't know her??! The one with Hayden Kho!
Was I supposed to know this woman? Must google this Maricar Reyes.
Cabbie: I know this director. But he only directs comedies. I think you need a manager.
From pimp to talent scout. Awesome.

I gave him a generous tip for the morning breakfast entertainment.