It's Bugging Me

After a long break from blogging, nothing beats a cab driver story for a comeback post.

Cab driver: You know, I just came back from the hospital to drop off a passenger.

Me: Really? What happened?

Cab driver: The woman was going nuts. She was banging her head on the window.

Me: What? Why?

Cab driver: A cockroach got into her ear.

Me: Excuse meee? A WHAAATT?!

Cab driver: A cockroach! That must be really painful. Roaches and their spindly, thorny legs.

Me: (Shivers). That's gross.

Cab driver: I wonder how the cockroach will manage to get out. I don't think it can walk backwards. I mean, I only see them going forward all the time. And they can't turn around either - no U-turn slot. If they asked me, I would've recommended one solution.

Me: And what's that?

Cab driver: You need to take off your shirt and wear it backwards. That's what the old folks say.

Me: Huh?

Cab driver: It really works. An ant got into my ear once and all I did was take off my shirt and wear it backwards. The ant got out in 1 minutes (yes, he did say '1 minutes'). I swear, it works!

Me: So, why didn't you give them your expert advice?

Cab driver: They might think I'm a pervert if I ask her to take her shirt off...

The Wonders of Shawshank and Karate Kid

Shawshank Redemption and Karate Kid were on HBO this week and I consider myself a masochist for watching Karate Kid twice. The movie was full of subliminal messages; a black kid getting beaten up by a Chinese kid makes you think if it's a preview of things to come i.e. the Chinese taking over the world. The black kid making out with a Chinese girl could only mean the world is truly mixing and we're going to have more biracial hotties like Tyson Beckford and Chanel Iman.

Cut to Shawshank.

After watching Shawshank again last night, I started to wonder about the trivial things movie directors purposely leave out in the movie. For example, before going to prison, do you get the chance to pick your final outfit as a free man or do they just haul you straight to jail? Do the feds schedule a pickup like "Mr. Dufresne, we will pick you up at 14:00 hours and drop you off at Shawshank at 14:30. Enjoy the rest of your life in prison." And if you do get to choose what to wear, what's the appropriate clothing for prison? In the case of Andy Dufresne, he opted for a suit. Well, that might have been appropriate considering it's almost like walking into your funeral...alive. I also thought what will happen to his house, his assets, his bank account? That will give the convicted felon something to think about every night while stuck in his cell for the next 20 years.