Cab driver: You know, I just came back from the hospital to drop off a passenger.
Me: Really? What happened?
Cab driver: The woman was going nuts. She was banging her head on the window.
Me: What? Why?
Cab driver: A cockroach got into her ear.
Me: Excuse meee? A WHAAATT?!
Cab driver: A cockroach! That must be really painful. Roaches and their spindly, thorny legs.
Me: (Shivers). That's gross.
Cab driver: I wonder how the cockroach will manage to get out. I don't think it can walk backwards. I mean, I only see them going forward all the time. And they can't turn around either - no U-turn slot. If they asked me, I would've recommended one solution.
Me: And what's that?
Cab driver: You need to take off your shirt and wear it backwards. That's what the old folks say.
Me: Huh?
Cab driver: It really works. An ant got into my ear once and all I did was take off my shirt and wear it backwards. The ant got out in 1 minutes (yes, he did say '1 minutes'). I swear, it works!
Me: So, why didn't you give them your expert advice?
Cab driver: They might think I'm a pervert if I ask her to take her shirt off...
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