Somebody in my apartment complex bought a parrot and the incessant squawking is far from an urban Amazonian jungle experience. I had to bear "hola! hola! awwwk! awwwk" every afternoon, in the midst of 500 economics slides, while drawing my supply and demand curves. Vegetarian or not, I want to kill that bird.
I plotted schemes in my head how to get rid of the bird. My first thought was to drug it. Call it bird feed "X". But I changed my mind because the bird might start saying "I love you! I love you!" all day. Then I thought of putting a recording of "kill me! kill me!" right next to it until the bird learned how to say it. When the right time comes, I can say "with pleasure!" Bam! Bird gone, problem solved.
Come to think of it, it's not the bird's fault. It's the OWNER who's to blame. Now what's the best way to deal with the owner?
a) Buy a bigger and noisier bird
b) Buy a dog (for every squawk there's a bark)
c) Buy a vulture and put it outside his window
Brilliant ideas but we all know that I'll end up doing one thing - nothing.
2 comments:
feed it spicy indian food ;-)
Now let me just update everyone by saying...the damn bird is GONE! I swear I had nothing to do with it. Bet it died of, umm. "natural causes."
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