The Modern Bride's Guide to Getting Married in the Philippines

PROLOGUE

I distinctly remember saying a decade ago that I will never get married. Then I started getting into more serious relationships and eventually warmed up to the whole wedding idea; what I really wanted was a quick, efficient and paperless wedding (read: Vegas). Seriously, who wouldn’t wanna be married in Vegas? There are no preparations required, it's cheap, it’s quick, it's legit and you can party like crazy on the strip afterwards.

But then a year ago, much to everyone’s surprise, I got civilly married to my French boyfriend of five years in Paris. I had the convenient excuse of not having to deal with the paperwork because I don’t speak French, and he took care of all the dirty administrative work that came with the civil wedding. All I had to do was order the flowers, buy some decors and pick my dress. The dress didn’t even have to be a fluffy white gown. I bought a simple white cocktail dress at 123 (read as un, deux, trois) at 50% off during the winter sale.

For a non-French bride in Paris, the biggest challenge was to find an English-speaking photographer and make-up artist who would understand exactly what I wanted. In the end, I chose Yolanda Villagran and Lexi De Rock. They’re Americans based in Paris and both are professional and pleasant to work with.

We had an amazing wedding in Paris. We did the reception on a boat that cruised around the river Seine while our guests had their fill of hor d'oeuvres and wine. I would’ve been completely happy with a civil wedding, but if you’re Filipino, the deal is not sealed unless you get married in the church. I should’ve known that the big church wedding that I’ve been avoiding since the age of reason was inevitable. I hope my post would help Filipina brides out there prepare for their big day in the Philippines. Best wishes!

THE WEDDING CHECKLIST

Step 1: Church

Budget: PHP10,000 – PHP50,000 (US$220 - $1120)

Booking a church in the Philippines is almost as difficult as getting into a three-star Michelin restaurant - you have to book a year in advance! I would recommend preparing at least 3 possible wedding dates in case someone else has already reserved your chosen date. Keep in mind that some churches no longer hold weddings on Sundays to avoid disruptions to Eucharistic celebrations.

We wanted to do our wedding in February to accommodate our family’s vacation schedule. I started looking for churches 8 months before the wedding, which in the Filipino wedding book is already too late. I was confident that February would be an "off peak" wedding month but boy, I couldn't be more wrong. The churches that we liked were fully booked. Here are the ones that we considered:

• Manila Cathedral - Closed and undergoing renovations
• San Agustin Church  - Fully booked 
• UST Santisimo Rosario Chapel – Great discount if you’re a Thomasian. Pros: the campus is beautiful, lots of parking space, the church aisle is long and they can turn on the air conditioner. Cons: church’s lack of charm and the possibility of college kids making a cacophonous mess on your wedding day.
• San Sebastian Church – We almost picked this church for its gothic style and historical ties with the French master architect Gustave Eiffel. We didn’t choose it in the end because we were concerned that the decadence and impossible traffic jams along the university belt wouldn’t leave the best impression of Manila to our foreign guests who’re visiting the country for the first time. 
• Malate Church – Beautiful church but too fussy and inflexible with the requirements. Immediately crossed it out of my checklist.
• San Beda Church – Exclusive for alumni that they won’t even open the doors to the public. Whatever. #gouste
• Caleruega – Clearly a popular choice among couples. They were fully booked until the second half of the following year. Make sure to book early if this is THE church for you.
• Our Lady of Lourdes Church (a.k.a the Tagaytay church) – We were getting desperate and figured that if we can’t find the beautiful, historical church that we wanted, then we'll just find an OK church but book an awesome venue. We tried to find a place in Tagaytay overlooking the Taal Volcano but most of the venues were too small for the number of people we planned to invite. There’s nothing really extraordinary about this church so we gave up on Tagaytay as a wedding destination.

 We drove further into Batangas and finally, we picked…

Lipa Cathedral/San Sebastian Cathedral!

(Photo by Danon Gabriel The)

We immediately fell in love with this 17^th century church, with its grandiose architecture and charming interior. As luck would have it, the date we wanted was still available. The price is decent at PHP10,500, which covers the wedding celebration fees, red carpet and church choir (flowers not included). We booked it on the spot - no deposit required!

Contact Mrs. Loida Gallindez +639182940814 or 0437562142

Step 2: Church Requirements

Budget: PHP5,000 for issuance and incidental fees (~$120)

Documents to obtain from your parish church:

• New Copy of Baptismal Certificate of bride and groom specifically for marriage purpose (date) issued 6 months from the date of wedding by the parish where bride and groom were baptized

• New Copy of Confirmation Certificate of bride and groom specifically for marriage purpose (date) issued 6 months from the date of wedding by the parish where bride and groom were baptized
• Certificate of freedom to marry - You can get it from a parish church in your country of residence if you've been living overseas for more than 6 months. Sometimes, a certificate from your employer confirming that you have declared your husband as your legal spouse is also acceptable (see sample below).

Documents to obtain from NSO/City Hall, e-Census.com.ph

• Birth certificate – You can now easily get a copy online from e-census.com.ph. They can deliver the document to an international address or your embassy for a reasonable fee.
• Report of Marriage or Marriage Certificate (if civilly married) – If you got married overseas, you should’ve registered your marriage at the Philippine Embassy in the country where you got married. If you haven’t, try and take care of it immediately (there’s a penalty for late registration).  You can only register your marriage at the PH embassy in the country where the wedding took place. The embassy will send you a copy of the Report of Marriage/Marriage Certificate 2-4 weeks after registration. 

• The embassy will also send a copy of this document to the DFA and NSO. The church will require you to submit an NSO-issued Marriage Certificate (yellow paper). In order for you to get this document, obtain the information below from the Consular Records Division of DFA Manila, with office address at DFA Office of the Consular Affairs – Consular Records Division, Ground Floor, Bradco Avenue corner Macapagal Boulevard, Aseana Business Park, Parañaque City. You may also call these numbers:  (632) 836-7743/-7744.  Once you have the information below, request the NSO-issued copy of the Marriage Certificate online at e-census.com.ph or from the NSO office.

(1) REFERENCE NUMBER

(2) DISPATCH NUMBER

(3) DISPATCH DATE

(4) TRANSMITTAL DATE

• Marriage License (If you've never been married or are not civilly married) - You need to get this from the City Hall and attend a Family Planning Seminar. Waiting period is 10 days. To get this you need to submit certified true copy of Birth Certificate and Parents' Consent (for 18-21 years old) or Parent's Advice (for 21-25 years old). License has a validity of 120 days from date of issuance.
• CENOMAR or Certificate of No Marriage - Request for a CENOMAR for you AND your husband (NSO also issues CENOMAR for foreigners). If you're civilly married, the CENOMAR should reflect the marriage that you declared at the embassy. Otherwise, it would state that either of you has no record of being married.

Other requirements:

• 2 copies of a 4R photo of you and your husband/fiancé - This will be posted on the bulletin board of the cathedral for everyone to see and scrutinize so my only advice is to choose wisely.
• Canonical Interview – Lipa Cathedral schedules the interview for you. You will be asked to fill out a form on the day of the interview. Most of the questions focus on your understanding of the sacrament of matrimony (e.g Have you been baptized? Do you know the Lord’s prayer? Did you come here out of your own free will? etc.). Then the priest will conduct a 5-minute individual interview with you and your husband/fiance, followed by an interview as a couple, to assess how well you know each other and if you’re ready to commit to each other (e.g. How did you meet? How long have you been dating? Why do you think he is the man for you? etc.) I overheard the couple before us saying they were asked to recite some prayers, which sent me and my husband into a rush of panic. We assumed the worst so we tried remembering the names of all 12 disciples and the different mysteries of the rosary (failed miserably, by the way). Thankfully, we didn’t get asked any of those questions and were let off the hook quite easily.
• Pre-cana wedding seminar – Some churches allow you to do the pre-cana seminar in the country where you’re based (it would be best to call the church to double check) but with Lipa Cathedral, they will not recognize seminars conducted by other organizations in another country and you are required to attend the seminar at the cathedral. You would have to call the cathedral office in advance to schedule the date of the seminar. There is a modest seminar fee of PHP100.00 that you would need to pay either on the day itself or the day of the booking. Just make sure you keep the receipt and show it to the facilitator on the day of the seminar. This is a full-day event, 7AM to 5PM, that is conducted by church volunteers at the San Lorenzo Hall of the Lipa Cathderal every Sunday (except 3^rd Sunday of the month). Food and coffee are available for sale inside the session hall to make sure you have enough caffeine in your blood to survive the whole thing. If your partner is non-Filipino, be ready to spend the entire day translating since the seminars are done in Tagalog. After the seminar, you will receive a certificate of completion.
• Chancery Interview – We were lucky because the Chancery Office of Lipa is right next to the Cathedral. Scheduling the interview was a bit difficult, especially if you’re coming from overseas. The archbishop is only available on weekdays, 830am-12pm. There is a service fee of PHP1000.00. The interview is similar to the previous interview we had with the parish priest. I’m not really sure what the purpose of the chancery interview is and why we flew almost 4hours to spend only 10 minutes to answer the same questions (couldn’t we have done this over Skype?) If somebody out there knows, holla and enlighten me.
• Marriage Bann - After you've completed your requirements, the church office will send a letter with the marriage banns to your local parish church. Your local parish will post the wedding bann together with a photo of you and your husband on their bulletin board for 3 weeks. After 3 weeks, you will need to send back the completed Marriage Banns Card to the church office.
• List of Principal Sponsors - the cathedral 

Here's the complete list of requirements, fees and guidelines from the Lipa Cathedral:

Note: Lipa Cathedral is a very traditional and conservative church. They have very strict guidelines on the gown design - no spaghetti straps, tube dresses, backless or anything too revealing. Trust me, they will not hesitate to cover you up in an ugly neon shawl so plan your gown accordingly. They only allow a specific number of principal and secondary sponsors and have a prescribed age for the ring and bible bearers (see the guidelines above).

SOURCES AND USEFUL LINKS

• If you were married in Singapore (ROM) and plan to get married in the Philippines, check out, Maan Rojas' blog at http://www.mywedding.com/ejlovesmaan/blog_post_90460.html. She inspired me to write this post.
• For mixed couples with non-Catholic partners, here are the additional requirements that you need to prepare http://www.rcam.org/others/756?showall=1