Why So Serious?

I try to be funny in my blogs, but there are times when humor becomes dry and unfortunately, there's no moisturizer for dry humor.

I haven't been doing so fantastically in some aspects of my life, and being a headstrong Ram who sets high standards for herself and works hard to get what she wants, this is extremely frustrating. So I started writing my own collection of encouraging and philosophical quotes, and maybe one day I can publish a book, turn it into a bestseller, and earn shitloads of royalty money. Then I can work for the WWF (not the wrestling federation, hello?) and save the world! (Would life give me brownie points for being unselfish for once?) I noticed I always think like this when I'm wearing my Superman underwear - uh, pretend I didn't say that. Too much information)

• If you don't get what you want, WAIT. There might be something better in store for you. Think of it as waiting for a dress to go on sale.
• When you get knocked down, would you rather remain sprawled on the floor or get up? Remember, if you stay on the floor, people will step on you.
• Numbers always try to put people in categories - height (short or tall), weight (skinny or fat), scores (dumb or smart), age (young or old). If you let numbers define you, then you're nothing but a mere statistic.
• Don't whine and tell me you have a lot of beef with life. Why not be vegetarian and take some 'shrooms?

The Prestige (If you haven't watched it, let me spoil it for you)

I was meaning to write something about "The Prestige" right after watching it a month ago but whoops! must've slipped my mind (my brain is quite wet and slippery these days).

Yes, I'm talking about that 2006 Hugh Jackman-Christian Bale starrer. Though quite highly-rated at IMDB (8.4 stars out of 10), I didn't really want to get into a deep discussion and debate about how the whole movie became predictable. Remember that scene when Hugh Jackman was at his wife's funeral, then a remorseful Bale shows up? Jackman was blaming Bale for the death of his wife, and it was sooo obvious that Jackman was going to say, "You didn't know? Pause. YOU DIDN'T KNOW????!!!". And it also doesn't take a genius to figure out that Christian Bale's character, Alfred Borden, did have a twin, that allowed him to do two important things - magically teletransport and screw two women at the same time.

What I wanted to discuss was...how do you stay focused on a movie that has two gorgeous men playing protagonist-antagonist? It's Interview with the Vampire all over again! Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise? Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise??? Darn that lucky brat Kirsten Dunst. And man, Antonio Banderas in the same movie? It's hormonal chaos.

Anyway, "The Prestige" ends with a climax, no pun intended. Go see it and you'll know what I mean.

Gwen Had a Little Lamb

Announcement: This is my 15-minute gay time, celebrating New York's Fashion Week. I've subscribed to Rachel Zoe's newsletter (fashion stylist for Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Ritchie, and other celebrities) and man, does that skinny woman have great fashion finds (so check out her site, girlfriends - www.rachelzoe.com).

Gwen "Hollaback girl - this shit is bananas" Stefani's L.A.M.B. collection at New York's Fashion Week just rocked my world. Awesome collection.

Now this plaid coat really made me B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Too bad I can't wear it in Singapore because I have no desire to have sweaty pits.

Gotta rock this frock!

A cute mini dress for your flirtatious conquests.

Get the complete collection here.

I've always liked Valentino's clean and simple cuts. His spring collection involves flowing wrap dresses, ruffles and solid geometric arcs and shapes. Here are some of my faves:

A burst of yellow sunshine in this toga dress, which gathers to the side to create that elegant drape.

Celebrating lines and colors in this body hugging minidress.

A glittering ensemble like this calls for a big occasion (and long skinny legs. Switch to black tights if you don't want to risk your thighs looking like sausages wrapped in gold foil).

Check out more of 2010's fashion collection at

http://www.style.com

Who's Gramophobic?

People have been talking about the Superbowl, and everyone's starting to make their Oscars bets, and I'm still pissed about Taylor Swift winning Album of the Year at the Grammys (together with a whole bunch of golden gramophones she didn't deserve).

Her off-key performance still makes me cringe like nails on a chalkboard, and I'm starting to suspect that she's nothing but a nicely packaged commercial popstar who's vocals are as good as the latest synthesizer. And to her record label who came to her "defense", puh-leez. Shove that whole "she's the voice of the new generation" crap up your ass, 'cause this ain't a Pepsi commercial. Shouldn't the Grammys be recognizing the revolutionary and the innovative artists of our time, who have shaped the music industry and left creative footprints to inspire the next generation of music wannabes? Taylor Swift just isn't extraordinary enough, with her cliche teeny-bopper love songs and average vocal quality. So what if she can write her own songs and play the guitar? There are millions out there who can do that; they're all over MySpace and YouTube. Now I'm not crazy over Lady Gaga, but that haute-couture-gay-extraordinaire of a woman deserved an award for resurrecting the electro dance pop culture of America (it's been quite dead since Boy George and 2 Unlimited). And the Black Eyed Peas has also proven themselves worthy by being a monster hit-churning machine. Never mind Beyonce - she has enough Grammys to sell on eBay.

This year at the Grammys was extremely disappointing - where was Kanye West when you needed him?

Triple X

It doesn't take a lot of words for your ex to send you into a spiraling hole of psychotic analytical rage. As a matter of fact, it only takes two letters - H.I. Either a short SMS or an email subject. Those two letters could launch you into a verbal diarrhea of "why's," reconciliation possibilities and happy endings. But let this cynic slap you silly and crush your fantasies of sweet ales and pink roses:

• A message 2 days post-break up can only mean one thing: booty call.
• He messaged you because he's a.) bored b.) curious c.) exploring his options. But that doesn't mean he wants you back.
• Texting you has become a habit...and he's trying to break away from it. But then, that doesn't make you any different from a cigarette, does it?
• He's being selfish. If his famous last words were, "I can't be with you, but I can't live without you. Can we still be friends?" The correct response should be, "I have over 500 friends on Facebook. I don't need you. And can't you go any lamer than quoting Todd Rundgren?" (Turn around, and slowly walk away, hold your head high and swing your hips gracefully. But if hopping is more your thing, then hop away like a free Energizer bunny.)
• He's drunk-texting. Like drunk-dialing or drunk-tweeting. Don't be flattered that he's thinking about you when he's drunk, 'cause he's not. That fifth glass of whisky just turned his brain into a soft gelatinous mush. He probably doesn't want you back and is just being himself - stupid, that is.

We mark things "X" when they're wrong...have you ever realized that's probably why you call that boy your "ex"? Think, girl, think!

Sleeping on a Drunken Boat

If ever you happen to be in Chiangmai and need a place to crash, check out Le Bateau Ivre http://www.bateau-ivre-cm.com/index.htm. Well-located at the heart of the inner moat, this guesthouse is spanking new, super clean and has free wifi. Some rooms have great views of Wat Chedi Luang and it's nothing short of magnificent at night. Dimitri, the owner, is a friendly Frenchman who'll make sure you're nice and comfy in his 'bateau'.



141/8 Rajadamnern Rd., T. Prasing, A. Muang, Chiang Mai 50200,
Tel: +66 053272012

Merveilleuses vacances!

Don't Try to Spell Mississippi

Call me mean, but spelling anomalies give me the kicks every time I take a vacation. I mean, if you have smashed potatoes, french fried and sandwitch in your menu, how could you not?

Is your hair feeling kinky? Supaporn will fulfill all your desires! Try their unique service berounding.



Birdy- Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.



Got a sweeth thooth?



Broccoli, brocoli, broccolli? Spinich or spinach? Them vegaterains are complicated.


Would you like mushel in your eggs, sir?


The French have been known to drop their letters anyway - escargot, escagot...same same.