The FLM Movement

I will never be a proper blogger. I'm too random, too inconsistent and just too lazy to report the daily happenings in my life. I have no interesting stories to tell nor daily inspirations to share. Being parked behind a computer desk 8 hours a day is hardly conducive to poetic musings (unless the likes of Gael Garcia Bernal emerges out of my computer screen, which on second thought is not really that sexy cause it reminds me of The Ring).

It also doesn't help that I have the knack for starting things and never really get to finishing them (case in point: "Ironies", "Trivias" and "Filipinize Literature for the Masses" movement are still marked "to be continued"). Well, now that I'm reminded of my FLM movement (hmm, the acronym sounds like a low-budget porn production company), especially in this month of honoring our national language, I took a stab at translating a few paragraphs from one of my favorite books, Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade by Guy Browning.

Huwag na Huwag Hampasin ang Dikya ng Pala

Papaano...Gumising sa Umaga
Ang paggising sa umaga ay parang panganganak: minsan mabilis at madali, minsan akala mo oras na ngunit hindi pa pala, maraming kasamang tulak at napakaraming oras ng paghihirap.

May iilang mga taong gustong-gusto ang mga tahimik at payapang sandali bago magbukang-liwayway. Sa totoo lang, wala namang nakakakilala sa mga taong ito kasi lahat tayo tulog pa. Ang isang pahiwatig kung sino ang mga taong ito ay lumalabas dakong gabi, kung kailan alas-siyete y media palang eh binabati ka na nila ng gudnayt.

Ang mga taong hirap gumising ay gumagawa ng mga mautak na paraan upang makabangon sa umaga. Mahusay ang mga de-alarmang orasan na kayang pabangunin maski ang patay, lalo na kung ilalagay mo ito malayo sa iyong tabi. Kaya lang, sa sobrang gulat at pagkabingi mo sa lakas ng de-alarmang orasan na ito, kakailangan mong bumalik ulit sa kama at matulog ng isang oras upang makabawi sa pagka-trauma.

Original text:

Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade

How to...Get Up

Waking up in the morning is like a little birth: sometimes it's very quick and easy, and sometimes it takes many false alarms, a lot of pushing and hours of labour.

There is a very small group of people who love those quiet, peaceful moments just before the dawn. No one really knows who these people are because the rest of us are all fast asleep. A clue as to who they are comes later in the day when, just after half past seven in the evening, they say goodnight.

People who have difficulty getting up have devised all sorts of foolproof ways of getting themselves out of bed. Alarm clocks which would wake up the dead are great, especially if you place them out of arm's reach. However, when these go off, they give you such a profound shock you have to go back to bed for an hour to get over the trauma.

Not bad eh?