Mom & Dad Have Spoken

These are the types of conversations I miss at home.

Mom: So, when do you think can we pick up the photograph? (they had a photograph enlarged)
Dad: When it's done.
Right.

After finishing off a stick of pork barbecue, macaroni salad, a KFC chicken wrap, a quarter of roasted chicken and a cup of fruit salad...
Dad: Hmmm, I think I'm full.
Operative word: Think.

Dad (in reference to Boxer the Shih Tzu): This stupid dog accidentally sat and parked his balls on my big toe, and when I moved my foot, he threatened to bite me!?!
Well, if somebody kicked you in the balls, wouldn't you?

Cousin John helping to unwrap my mom's gifts...
John (holding up a mug): This is a good gift...for recycling.
John (holding up an umbrella): This is useful...for Christmas raffle.
John (holding up a chic handmade candle): This smells nice...can I have it?