"Inversity"
The law of inverse relationships.
Queues and your patience - As the line gets longer, your patience gets shorter. So move your asses, goddamn slowpokes!
Distance and punctuality -Those who live the closest to their offices are never on time.
Height and ego - Also known as the Napoleon complex.
A man's looks and his car - Hot cars, ugly drivers.
Alcohol and intelligence - Increased alcohol consumption leads to decreased brain function.
Years of marriage and sex - According to Russell Peters, also known as the onegina disease.
*These suggestions are a product of the author's insuppressible urge to give unsolicited opinions. Any similarities in real life are purely coincidental.
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Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Total Eclipse of My Heart
There is only one reason I will spend $10 for Eclipse - Taylor Lautner and his ripped body. This boy is probably 9 years my junior...erm, cougar who?
The third installment didn't improve my relatively low opinion of the whole vampire saga (sorry, but Bram Stoker and Anne Rice still rule my world of nosferatu). Kirsten Stewart had the same, bland acting (if you can even call that acting) which matched the pallor of her skin. I was never her big fan. And was it just me or was Robert Pattinson having a hard time talking through that mouthful of fangs? Better not start chewing gum, or you'll be in a lot of trouble.
I found it extremely funny that Bella was trying to force Edward to have sex with her, and Edward prudently refused because he wanted them to get married first. If you ask me, the real reason is he couldn't get it up because the bloodsucker is 100 years old AND dead. It made me wonder - does Edward even have sperm, considering he's a corpse?
Jacob had a ton of witty lines that I find absolutely adorable. Must be me and my love of canines. Watch this episode of What The Buck where Michael "I'm not pointing at my crotch - Glittertits!" Buckley gives you a hilarious commentary of the movie. My favorite comment: Victoria runs so fast even the wolves couldn't catch her - they huffed, and they puffed and they still can't blow that bitch down.
The third installment didn't improve my relatively low opinion of the whole vampire saga (sorry, but Bram Stoker and Anne Rice still rule my world of nosferatu). Kirsten Stewart had the same, bland acting (if you can even call that acting) which matched the pallor of her skin. I was never her big fan. And was it just me or was Robert Pattinson having a hard time talking through that mouthful of fangs? Better not start chewing gum, or you'll be in a lot of trouble.
I found it extremely funny that Bella was trying to force Edward to have sex with her, and Edward prudently refused because he wanted them to get married first. If you ask me, the real reason is he couldn't get it up because the bloodsucker is 100 years old AND dead. It made me wonder - does Edward even have sperm, considering he's a corpse?
Jacob had a ton of witty lines that I find absolutely adorable. Must be me and my love of canines. Watch this episode of What The Buck where Michael "I'm not pointing at my crotch - Glittertits!" Buckley gives you a hilarious commentary of the movie. My favorite comment: Victoria runs so fast even the wolves couldn't catch her - they huffed, and they puffed and they still can't blow that bitch down.
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