Hot or Not Hollywood Candyfest

I was at a send-off dinner the other night with my colleagues and how we wound up into a featherbrained, cacophonous discussion of who's hot and who's not in Hollywood, nobody could really recall. The decision was unanimous that David Hasselhoff will never make it to the list (*For those who disagree, don't bother to comment as I prefer not to argue with people who have bad taste).

The conversation was concluded by each persons' Hollywood's Top 5. Quite frankly, the last time I drew up a list was in high school, and I've never given it some thought my entire working life, simply because I prefer not to spend my hours of ennui dreaming of screwing Hollywood actors I can never have.

Nonetheless, here's who made it to my Top 5. I don't exactly go for the manufactured popstars of today, so don't expect Zac Efron to even come close to making it to the Top 10.

1. Gael Garcia Bernal
Like Shoemart, you got it all.

2. Christian Bale
The dark, brooding kind.

3. Hugh Jackman
Scratch me with your claws.

4. Jude Law
So what if you're a manhoe?

5. Will Smith
The epitome of cool


Still in the running...
Ethan Hawke
First crushes never die.

Clive Owen
Did somebody say sex appeal?

Johnny Depp
But why Vanessa Paradis?

And here's the latest addition to the Hollywood manfest...
Tyson Jay Ritter!