I'm blogging my own version of this inane Facebook meme to self-indulge and spend ten minutes talking about the best person on earth...me.
1. And that's the first random thing - I'm self-centered and vain.
2. I love ketchup. Anything that's worth dunking and squirting over asks for ketchup. I sometimes feel bad for eating cherry tomatoes with ketchup. I feel like I'm insulting the tomato by dipping it in its pureed cousins...like feeding KFC to a chicken.
3. The four things that frighten me the most: blood, lightning, flying roaches and deep water (if my feet don't touch the bottom, consider me drowned).
4. I'm a gym rat. I've been going to the gym since I was 18 years old.
5. I could be orthorexic. I don't like oily food, I don't eat chicken, pork, beef, fish, and seafood. I rarely eat rice, I'm not a big fan of potato chips and I avoid sweets like the plague. I obsessively count calories.
6. I used to be obese when I was a kid. Which explains numbers 4 & 5.
7. I'm lactose intolerant. If you force-feed me dairy, make sure we're not stuck in the same room for the next 20 minutes or you will die of gas poisoning, I promise.
8. I used to collect Pupung Comic books, and even had one autographed by Tonton Young.
9. My mom took me to a Menudo concert when I was five because I liked Robbie Rosa when I was a kid. I slept during the concert.
10. My teen Friday nights were spent drooling over Jason Priestly in Beverly Hills 90210, and watching Doogie Howser MD type his medical musings in his DOS/Wordstar computer diary. Late Saturday mornings were for Mr. Bogus.
11. I began to be financially responsible at 15 years old, when I got an Easycall pager and started paying for the bills with my weekly allowance.
12. I have a good memory. Assuming I'm not in a sorry drunken state when you meet me, I will remember everything you say and it will be stored in a little file cabinet in my brain with your name on it, ready to be used for future blackmail, I mean reference.
13. I love oatmeal. I can eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maybe I was a horse or cow in my previous life.
14. I have a high tolerance for heat and hot weather. I could sleep without air conditioning on 38 degree summer nights in Manila, and even snuggle under the bed covers.
15. I used to have a dog named Toffee, who had an undescended testicle (read: he only had one ball) and was assumed to be a homosexual dog. A by-product of canine incestuous relations. So I guess it proves that for your future children's sake, marry somebody outside of your family.
16. I like looking up words in the dictionary.
17. I like reading trivia, half of which I don't really care to remember. I just need to satiate my brain with a 5-second "ahhh" or "hmm".
18. I seldom cry at funerals, or during those Hallmark moments like graduations and weddings. Where everybody else seems to have hyperactive tear ducts, I'm always completely dry-eyed. But I'm a total sap for movies - I cried watching Disney's Lion King.
19. I hate being late. I'm not a very patient woman. The faster we can get things done, the better (disclaimer: this does not apply to "other things").
20. When I was a kid, my school bus would pass by this house inhabited by an exhibitionist. He would crack open the gate and come out naked. Boy, was he bushy.
21. I develop bad phobias from gruesome experiences. My phobia of blood started when I saw two men fighting on the street, with one man being violently clubbed on the head with a metal pipe. The sight of that bloodstained pipe triggered my hemoglobin anxiety.
22. I passed out many times due to hypoglycemia or fatigue. Three out of these several episodes happened during Sunday mass, which led my father to suspect they might be linked to something demonic or un-Catholic, and accused me of not praying hard enough.
23. I had my first beer when I was fifteen. This was when I found out I was allergic to alcohol. My hands became very itchy and were swollen for three days - I looked like I was wearing Mickey Mouse's glove.
24. My first job was working as a graphic designer at a photocopier company, where I got paid PHP8,000 per month. I lasted for two months.
25. The first car that I drove was a 1978 Corona which we named "Honda Civac". It had waded through and survived many a Sampaloc floods, had a steering wheel that required full muscular force to maneuver (ergo, my toned biceps), a windshield wiper that required poking or fistpounding to work, and a stick shift limited to fourth gear.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
If We Are What We Eat
Then I would be a breathing glob of calcium, protein compounds majority of which is avenalin, water, caffeine, fructose and soluble fiber. Sigh.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
These Boots Were Made For Walking
I've been trying to think of a great way to kick off this entry on my first backpacking trip with Romain in the Philippines, but immediately recognized the notorious rambler preambler habit, which often leads to unfinished blogs. So to play it safe, I'll settle for the old-fashioned timestamping, to prevent me from digressing and drifting...
DAY 1: It's Time Everyone Flies
We took the early morning Cebu Pacific flight to Clark and went straight to the Victory Liner station in Dau to board the first bus to Baguio. The bus was an ice box on wheels and 5 hours later, Romain and I were two walking ice cubes on Session Road desperately looking for a bus headed to Banaue. Luck wasn't on our side because the last bus to Bontoc left 45 minutes earlier. We hopped on the first bus to Sagada instead and I was sad to find out that the rough roads that were disemboweling us then, were the same dirt roads that I traveled with my family during my first trip to Sagada 6 or 8 years ago. Thanks to the adept pocketing skills of our local government, those roads never saw the light of cementing day.
DAY 2: 2-in-1 DVD: Tomb Raider and The Mummy
Sagada was the same old quiet town that I knew. The cabin-type Masferre restaurant was still standing proud next to the Municipal Hall. We checked in at the Ganduyan Inn & Cafe which was relatively cheap and clean. It, however, crushed my dreams of having a long, hot shower because the broken electric heater no longer responded to excessive tinkering and fist pounding. As much as you would love to complain and bitch about the situation, losing half your brains on a 6-hour bumpy bus ride wouldn't leave you with much energy.
The day after we headed early to the Sumaging and Burial Caves. Sumaging was still as beautiful as I remember. The descent was really rough, and requires a lot of tactical footing and maneuvering, something your body wasn't designed to do first thing in the morning. Which probably explains why, at one point, I slipped and slid down the rock ala-Lara Croft. If the guide hadn't been there to break my fall, I would've fallen into a crevice of oblivion (or maybe just a shallow pit of batshit...who knows? I'm glad I didn't have to find out). I was grateful the fall was accompanied by a very sexy, Keanu Reeves-ish "Whooooooaaaaaaa!!!!" than a shrill, wussy shriek "Eeeeeeeeeekk!!!".
Sagada Burial Caves
Aye, aye captain. We're going in...
DAY 3: On The Road Again
We took a jeepney to Bontoc, which was 4 hours away from Sagada. From Bontoc, we got on the bus to Banaue where we would stay for the night. The bus was packed and cramped with all sorts of things - people, kaings of vegetables, walis-tambo, padala boxes, strawberry-shortcake bags...thank God for small blessings, no one brought cockfighting roosters in pocked boxes.
We were halfway to Bontoc when we ran into a roadblock - a tractor was clearing the path for a road widening project (which would be finished when the local official gets re-elected in 2012, pardon my skepticism). But it was a good butt relief and the view was amazing...
People milling around impatiently...
Nice view of the Cordilleras...
DAY 4: No Wonder It's The Eighth Wonder
We arrived in Banaue by nightfall and stayed at Greenview Lodge. The plan was to go to Batad early next morning and start off from Kinakin, hiking all the way to Cambolo, a local village. From Cambolo, we would cut through Batad - an estimated trek of 6 hours in total.
The first leg of the trek was a moderately steep ascent, which got us hot and sweaty (rid thyself of those perverted thoughts) but the rest of the walk was pretty flat. We came across curious botanical species, beautiful waterfalls, and windows of breathtaking sceneries.
We were stumped again, for the second time, by another road-widening project. It was like crossing a landslide - muddy, unstable and completely dangerous. But the brave trekkers ploughed on...and made it to Cambolo.
The long, tedious walk was rewarded by steaming red rice freshly pounded earlier in the day, and stir-fried vegetables.
After lunch, we found ourselves in a dilemma. The road leading to Batad, which should've made up the last two hours of our trek, was blocked and no longer passable due to the road-widening being done atop the mountain (this road-widening turned out to be the bane of our existence). We had to trek all the way back to the mountain and take the longer route.
Eight hours, five Cloud 9's and 2000 calories burned later, we reached the beautiful terraces of Batad.
We stayed in Simon's Inn, which finally had hot water (hurray! nothing beats good old-school kettle boiling), and decent food which came long after our gastric juices have digested and re-digested themselves. We called it a night and gave our sore muscles some much-deserved rest.
DAY 5: The Stratovolcano of the 90's
We left at the crack of dawn, because jeepneys only come to Batad until 9AM. The hike up to the jeepney terminal takes about an hour, and there were no happy faces that morning, only grunts and plenty of huffing and puffing. We had to catch the earliest jeepney to Solano, Nueva Vizcaya, and get a bus to Tarlac for our Pinatubo trek. The bus from Solano to Dagupan was the best ass-buster of all. I was like a fratman being beaten incessantly by a dos-por-dos for 5 grueling hours. We subsisted on Cloud 9 and Skyflakes during the trip, and for that I thank Jack N' Jill and M.Y. San for supplying our carb and glucose needs.
We finally reached Capas at 9PM, and managed to find Jason's Garden Inn, which was a cheap motel pretty close to the Philippine Air Force Camp where the Pinatubo Tourist Center was. It was very easy to arrange the Pinatubo trek. We paid PHP1750 each, which covered the cost of the 4x4 vehicle, driver and trek guide. The ride to the base of the mountain took almost an hour and the trek itself took a little more than an hour. There were a few ascends, but the challenge was to trek on volcanic rocks and cross streams. It's advisable for first time trekkers to wear proper hiking shoes. Waterproof's the best, if you want to walk through streams instead of tip-toeing and balancing on mangled igneous remains.
It wasn't the first time during the trek that I asked myself what pleasure do I get from being sweaty, dirty, exhausted, not to mention growing calves as big as Schwarzenegger's, when I could've easily stayed in the comforts of my home, watching movies or reading a book. But this is what makes every step, every calorie burned, every sore joint, every bruise, and yes, even having calves on steroids, worth it...
We heart the Philippines!
DAY 1: It's Time Everyone Flies
We took the early morning Cebu Pacific flight to Clark and went straight to the Victory Liner station in Dau to board the first bus to Baguio. The bus was an ice box on wheels and 5 hours later, Romain and I were two walking ice cubes on Session Road desperately looking for a bus headed to Banaue. Luck wasn't on our side because the last bus to Bontoc left 45 minutes earlier. We hopped on the first bus to Sagada instead and I was sad to find out that the rough roads that were disemboweling us then, were the same dirt roads that I traveled with my family during my first trip to Sagada 6 or 8 years ago. Thanks to the adept pocketing skills of our local government, those roads never saw the light of cementing day.
DAY 2: 2-in-1 DVD: Tomb Raider and The Mummy
Sagada was the same old quiet town that I knew. The cabin-type Masferre restaurant was still standing proud next to the Municipal Hall. We checked in at the Ganduyan Inn & Cafe which was relatively cheap and clean. It, however, crushed my dreams of having a long, hot shower because the broken electric heater no longer responded to excessive tinkering and fist pounding. As much as you would love to complain and bitch about the situation, losing half your brains on a 6-hour bumpy bus ride wouldn't leave you with much energy.
The day after we headed early to the Sumaging and Burial Caves. Sumaging was still as beautiful as I remember. The descent was really rough, and requires a lot of tactical footing and maneuvering, something your body wasn't designed to do first thing in the morning. Which probably explains why, at one point, I slipped and slid down the rock ala-Lara Croft. If the guide hadn't been there to break my fall, I would've fallen into a crevice of oblivion (or maybe just a shallow pit of batshit...who knows? I'm glad I didn't have to find out). I was grateful the fall was accompanied by a very sexy, Keanu Reeves-ish "Whooooooaaaaaaa!!!!" than a shrill, wussy shriek "Eeeeeeeeeekk!!!".
Sagada Burial Caves
Aye, aye captain. We're going in...
DAY 3: On The Road Again
We took a jeepney to Bontoc, which was 4 hours away from Sagada. From Bontoc, we got on the bus to Banaue where we would stay for the night. The bus was packed and cramped with all sorts of things - people, kaings of vegetables, walis-tambo, padala boxes, strawberry-shortcake bags...thank God for small blessings, no one brought cockfighting roosters in pocked boxes.
We were halfway to Bontoc when we ran into a roadblock - a tractor was clearing the path for a road widening project (which would be finished when the local official gets re-elected in 2012, pardon my skepticism). But it was a good butt relief and the view was amazing...
People milling around impatiently...
Nice view of the Cordilleras...
DAY 4: No Wonder It's The Eighth Wonder
We arrived in Banaue by nightfall and stayed at Greenview Lodge. The plan was to go to Batad early next morning and start off from Kinakin, hiking all the way to Cambolo, a local village. From Cambolo, we would cut through Batad - an estimated trek of 6 hours in total.
The first leg of the trek was a moderately steep ascent, which got us hot and sweaty (rid thyself of those perverted thoughts) but the rest of the walk was pretty flat. We came across curious botanical species, beautiful waterfalls, and windows of breathtaking sceneries.
We were stumped again, for the second time, by another road-widening project. It was like crossing a landslide - muddy, unstable and completely dangerous. But the brave trekkers ploughed on...and made it to Cambolo.
The long, tedious walk was rewarded by steaming red rice freshly pounded earlier in the day, and stir-fried vegetables.
After lunch, we found ourselves in a dilemma. The road leading to Batad, which should've made up the last two hours of our trek, was blocked and no longer passable due to the road-widening being done atop the mountain (this road-widening turned out to be the bane of our existence). We had to trek all the way back to the mountain and take the longer route.
Eight hours, five Cloud 9's and 2000 calories burned later, we reached the beautiful terraces of Batad.
We stayed in Simon's Inn, which finally had hot water (hurray! nothing beats good old-school kettle boiling), and decent food which came long after our gastric juices have digested and re-digested themselves. We called it a night and gave our sore muscles some much-deserved rest.
DAY 5: The Stratovolcano of the 90's
We left at the crack of dawn, because jeepneys only come to Batad until 9AM. The hike up to the jeepney terminal takes about an hour, and there were no happy faces that morning, only grunts and plenty of huffing and puffing. We had to catch the earliest jeepney to Solano, Nueva Vizcaya, and get a bus to Tarlac for our Pinatubo trek. The bus from Solano to Dagupan was the best ass-buster of all. I was like a fratman being beaten incessantly by a dos-por-dos for 5 grueling hours. We subsisted on Cloud 9 and Skyflakes during the trip, and for that I thank Jack N' Jill and M.Y. San for supplying our carb and glucose needs.
We finally reached Capas at 9PM, and managed to find Jason's Garden Inn, which was a cheap motel pretty close to the Philippine Air Force Camp where the Pinatubo Tourist Center was. It was very easy to arrange the Pinatubo trek. We paid PHP1750 each, which covered the cost of the 4x4 vehicle, driver and trek guide. The ride to the base of the mountain took almost an hour and the trek itself took a little more than an hour. There were a few ascends, but the challenge was to trek on volcanic rocks and cross streams. It's advisable for first time trekkers to wear proper hiking shoes. Waterproof's the best, if you want to walk through streams instead of tip-toeing and balancing on mangled igneous remains.
It wasn't the first time during the trek that I asked myself what pleasure do I get from being sweaty, dirty, exhausted, not to mention growing calves as big as Schwarzenegger's, when I could've easily stayed in the comforts of my home, watching movies or reading a book. But this is what makes every step, every calorie burned, every sore joint, every bruise, and yes, even having calves on steroids, worth it...
We heart the Philippines!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Ladies of Leisure Quote of the Day
Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Hot or Not Hollywood Candyfest
I was at a send-off dinner the other night with my colleagues and how we wound up into a featherbrained, cacophonous discussion of who's hot and who's not in Hollywood, nobody could really recall. The decision was unanimous that David Hasselhoff will never make it to the list (*For those who disagree, don't bother to comment as I prefer not to argue with people who have bad taste).
The conversation was concluded by each persons' Hollywood's Top 5. Quite frankly, the last time I drew up a list was in high school, and I've never given it some thought my entire working life, simply because I prefer not to spend my hours of ennui dreaming of screwing Hollywood actors I can never have.
Nonetheless, here's who made it to my Top 5. I don't exactly go for the manufactured popstars of today, so don't expect Zac Efron to even come close to making it to the Top 10.
1. Gael Garcia Bernal
Like Shoemart, you got it all.
2. Christian Bale
The dark, brooding kind.
3. Hugh Jackman
Scratch me with your claws.
4. Jude Law
So what if you're a manhoe?
5. Will Smith
The epitome of cool
Still in the running...
Ethan Hawke
First crushes never die.
Clive Owen
Did somebody say sex appeal?
Johnny Depp
But why Vanessa Paradis?
And here's the latest addition to the Hollywood manfest...
Tyson Jay Ritter!
The conversation was concluded by each persons' Hollywood's Top 5. Quite frankly, the last time I drew up a list was in high school, and I've never given it some thought my entire working life, simply because I prefer not to spend my hours of ennui dreaming of screwing Hollywood actors I can never have.
Nonetheless, here's who made it to my Top 5. I don't exactly go for the manufactured popstars of today, so don't expect Zac Efron to even come close to making it to the Top 10.
1. Gael Garcia Bernal
Like Shoemart, you got it all.
2. Christian Bale
The dark, brooding kind.
3. Hugh Jackman
Scratch me with your claws.
4. Jude Law
So what if you're a manhoe?
5. Will Smith
The epitome of cool
Still in the running...
Ethan Hawke
First crushes never die.
Clive Owen
Did somebody say sex appeal?
Johnny Depp
But why Vanessa Paradis?
And here's the latest addition to the Hollywood manfest...
Tyson Jay Ritter!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Burning the Bridge Before You Get There
And just when you thought you'd finally see the first (amongst a slew of firsts) love of your adolescent life, reality bites you in the butt like a nasty bedbug hiding within the springs and frayed cotton of your mattress. The Bridge Project brings Ethan Hawke to Singapore in William Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale on March 26th to 31st...the week when I'll be back in the Philippines. Nooooooooooooooooooooo..... (fades into oblivion....)
Seethes...
Somebody suggested moving my flight. Erm, if it were an Ethan Hawke-Will Smith-Jude Law ogling repertoire, i.e. butt or frontal flashes involved, I might reconsider.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade
Snippets of Guy Browning's metaphorical wisdom that gave me heaps of amusement before bedtime.
"The four horsemen of glumness are tiredeness, boredom, rain and low blood-sugar level. Any of them can lead to minor glumness, while all four together can lead to the very serious irritable bastard syndrome."
"Socializing shouldn't be confused with socialism. Socialists are the ones who like to meet people's needs, and socialites are the needy ones who like to meet people."
"If it's true that you are what you eat, then Britain is currently raising a large population of chicken nuggets."
"Brown toast isn't really much good because it doesn't change colour when you toast it. Brown bread already has a lot of attitude, and toasting is like punishing it for being too good for you in its natural state. With white bread you feel as though you're doing it a favour toasting it. It's like two weeks in the Caribbean for it.
Some people cut off the crusts of their toast. These are people who don't understand where real pleasure lies - the sort of people who cycle with helmets in the country or have sex in their pyjamas."
On dunking biscuits...
"Most people opt for the safety dunk, where you just dip a litle bit of the biscuit in and then suck off the soggy bit. More dangerous is the slam dunk, where you put the entire biscuit in up to your fingertips and then whip it out at the last moment. There is a very real risk that you'll end up with the entire body of your biscuit lying cementified on the bottom of the mug. This gives the opportunity for those who don't dunk to feel fantastically superior. Non-dunkers say they enjoy the contrast between warm and wet, and dry and hard. Perverts."
"If you're binge eating, the real question you should be asking yourself is not what you're eating but what's eating you."
"The four horsemen of glumness are tiredeness, boredom, rain and low blood-sugar level. Any of them can lead to minor glumness, while all four together can lead to the very serious irritable bastard syndrome."
"Socializing shouldn't be confused with socialism. Socialists are the ones who like to meet people's needs, and socialites are the needy ones who like to meet people."
"If it's true that you are what you eat, then Britain is currently raising a large population of chicken nuggets."
"Brown toast isn't really much good because it doesn't change colour when you toast it. Brown bread already has a lot of attitude, and toasting is like punishing it for being too good for you in its natural state. With white bread you feel as though you're doing it a favour toasting it. It's like two weeks in the Caribbean for it.
Some people cut off the crusts of their toast. These are people who don't understand where real pleasure lies - the sort of people who cycle with helmets in the country or have sex in their pyjamas."
On dunking biscuits...
"Most people opt for the safety dunk, where you just dip a litle bit of the biscuit in and then suck off the soggy bit. More dangerous is the slam dunk, where you put the entire biscuit in up to your fingertips and then whip it out at the last moment. There is a very real risk that you'll end up with the entire body of your biscuit lying cementified on the bottom of the mug. This gives the opportunity for those who don't dunk to feel fantastically superior. Non-dunkers say they enjoy the contrast between warm and wet, and dry and hard. Perverts."
"If you're binge eating, the real question you should be asking yourself is not what you're eating but what's eating you."
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